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[00:04.90]Sean Carter was born December 4th
[00:07.88]Weighing in at 10 pounds 8 ounces
[00:11.76]He was the last of my 4 children
[00:13.87]The only one who didn t give me any pain when I gave birth to him
[00:18.33]And that s how I knew that he was a special child
[00:33.43]
[00:34.57]They say  they never really miss you til you dead or you gone 
[00:36.55]So on that note i m leaving after the song
[00:38.56]So you ain t gotta feel no way about Jay so long
[00:41.60]Atleast let me tell you why i m this way， Hold on
[00:44.36]I was conceived by Gloria Carter and Adaness Revees
[00:46.99]Who made love under the Siccamore tree
[00:48.82]Which makes me
[00:49.84]A more sicker emcee my momma would claim
[00:52.11]At 10 pounds when I was born I didn t give her no pain
[00:55.12]Although through the years I gave her her fair share
[00:57.66]I gave her her first real scare
[00:58.98]I made it from birth and I got here
[01:00.21]She knows my purpose wasn t purpose I ain t perfect I care
[01:05.25]But I feel worthless cause my shirts wasn t matchin my gear
[01:05.65]Now i m just scratchin the surface cause what s burried under there
[01:08.49]Was a kid torn apart once his pop disappeared
[01:11.08]I went to school got good grades could behave when I wanted
[01:13.62]But I had demons deep inside that would raise when confronted
[01:16.40]Hold on
[01:19.75]
[01:20.69]Shawn was a very shy child growing up
[01:21.03]He was into sports
[01:22.29]And a funny story is
[01:24.76]At 4 he taught hisself how to ride a bike
[01:28.14]A two wheeler at that
[01:30.08]Isn t that special?
[01:32.50]But， I noticed a chance in him when me and my husband broke up
[01:37.36]
[01:38.42]Now all the teachers couldn t reach me
[01:39.48]And my momma couldn t beat me
[01:40.67]Hard enough to match the pain of my pops not seeing me， SO
[01:43.88]With that distain in my membrain
[01:45.82]Got on my pimp game
[01:46.89]Fuck the world my defense came
[01:49.22]Then Dahaven introuced me to the game
[01:51.32]Spanish Jose introduced me to cane
[01:53.46]I m a hustler now
[01:54.49]My gear is in and i m in the in crowd
[01:56.63]And all the wavey light skinned girls is lovin me now
[01:59.24]My self esteem went through the roof man I got my swag
[02:01.81]Got a volvo from this girl when her man got bagged
[02:04.52]Plus I hit my momma with cash from a show that I had
[02:07.20]Supposedly knowin nobody paid Jaz wack ass
[02:09.90]I m geting ahead of myself， by the way， I could rap
[02:12.59]That came second to me movin this crack
[02:14.70]Gimme a second I swear
[02:16.25]I will say about my rap career
[02:18.00]Til 96 came niggas i m here
[02:20.64]Good-bye
[02:21.68]
[02:22.46]Shawn use to be in the kitchen
[02:22.89]Beating on the table and rapping
[02:24.62]And um， until the wee hours of the morning
[02:27.13]And then I bought him a boom box
[02:32.48]And his sisters and brothers said he would drive them nuts
[02:36.40]But that was my way to keep him close to me and out of trouble
[02:41.15]
[02:41.96]Good-bye to the game all the spoils， the adreneline rush
[02:44.82]Your blood boils you in a spot knowing cops could rush
[02:47.42]And you in a drop your so easy to touch
[02:49.43]No two days are alike
[02:51.06]Except the first and fifteenth pretty much
[02:52.83]And  trust  is a word you seldom hear from us
[02:55.54]Hustlers we don t sleep we rest one eye up
[02:58.26]And the drought to find a man when the well dries up
[03:00.96]You learn to work the water without workin thirst til die YUP
[03:03.90]And niggas get tied up for product
[03:05.85]And little brothers ring fingers get cut up
[03:07.44]To show mothers they really got em
[03:09.02]And this was the stress I live with til I decided
[03:11.15]To try this rap shit for a livin
[03:13.54]I Pray i m forgiven
[03:14.80]For every bad decision I made
[03:16.36]Every sister I played
[03:17.96]Cause i m still paranoid to this day
[03:19.70]And it s nobody fault I made the decisions I made
[03:22.53]This is the life I chose or rather the life that chose me
[03:25.22]
[03:25.55]If you can t respect that your whole perspective is wack
[03:27.80]Maybe you ll love me when I fade to black
[03:30.11]
[03:30.73]If you can t respect that your whole perspective is wack
[03:33.19]Maybe you ll love me when I fade to black
[03:35.45]