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  • My Name is

  • Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
  • My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
  • Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
  • My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
  • Ahem.. excuse me!
  • Can I have the attention of the class
  • for one second?

  • Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
  • Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
  • Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
  • Try cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
  • My brains dead weight, Im tryin to get my head straight
  • but I cant figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
  • And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
  • Uh-uhhh! "So whys your face red? Man you wasted!"
  • Well since age twelve, Ive felt like Im someone else
  • Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
  • Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lees tits off
  • And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
  • I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
  • faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
  • Cmere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, thats my girl dog!)
  • I dont give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!


  • My English teacher wanted to have sex in junior high
  • The only problem was my English teacher was a guy
  • I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
  • and stapled his nuts to a stack of paper (Owwwwwwww!)
  • Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
  • Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup (Wsssshhhhh...)
  • Extraterrestrial, killin pedestrians
  • Rapin lesbians while they screamin: "LETS JUST BE FRIENDS!"
  • Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
  • I just found out my mom does more dope than I do
  • I told her Id grow up to be a famous rapper
  • Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
  • You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
  • and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
  • This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude, can I get your autograph?)
  • So I signed it: Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!


  • Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
  • Dr. Dre, dont just stand there, OPERATE!
  • Im not ready to leave, its too scary to die
  • Ill have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
  • Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
  • I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
  • All my life I was very deprived
  • I aint had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
  • [!--empirenews.page--]
  • Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
  • I spit when I talk, Ill fuck anything that walks (Cmere)
  • When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
  • HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!) YOU AINT GOT NO TITS! (WAH!)
  • I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
  • Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
  • Im steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)
  • And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)