Crazy Rap
Afroman
(Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell it. It was this blind man, right?
Man, check this out- it was this blind man, right?
He was feelin his way down the street with this stick, right?
Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what Im sayin?
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said,
Woooooo, good morning, ladies.
You like that shit, man? Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit, man.
I tell you what- my man on the guitar, fool on the drums,
everybody just crowd around the mic, Ill tell you all these mutha-fuckin jokes.
But first, Ima start it off like this. Hey, help me sing it, homeboy.)
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby thats all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin high as hell flyin through Palmdale, skatin on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the 83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just dont sell, I bet my caddy will.
Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it Eastside Palmdale.
When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up for sale.
Well, I was standin on the corner sellin rap cds when I met a little girl named Jan.
I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didnt know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan.
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo, fucked so long, I grew a fuckin afro.
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right. She sucked my dick til the shit turned white.
I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got my ass lookin like a ZEBRA!
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet.
I ran. I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin with a 2 x 4.
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right. The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night.
But I aint mad at her prejudiced dad, thats the best damn pussy I ever had.
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine. Im a fuck that bitch just one more time.
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby thats all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin high as hell flyin through Palmdale, skatin on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the 83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just dont sell, I bet my caddy will.
I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she looked good.
I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine.
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I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African.
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice. I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice.
Dont be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia.
Had a big butt and big titties, too, so I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo.
See, I met this lady from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ass, and she said, Aiiiiieeee!
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch.
Met Colonel Sanders wife in the state of Kentucky. She said, Ill fry some chicken if you just fuck me.