I said a bad word when I was a kid
mama said that I’d be sorry for the sin that I did
my daddy whooped me and the preacher said shame
and I tried like hell to change
and I cuss and I smoke
and I laugh at dirty jokes
minor vices man I know em well
I’ve closed down bars
and I’ve lusted in my heart
my exes think I oughta burn in hell
but the devil, he won’t notice when I die,
don’t you figure
he’s got bigger fish to fry oh yeah
Politicians taking pork barrel bribes
crooked ceos are getting off with no time
christmas eve burglars stealin good childrens toys
(can’t say chirstmas)
holiday burglars stealin good children’s toys
and I cuss and I smoke
I laugh at dirty jokes
the minor vices, man I know im well
I’ve closed down bars ive lusted in my heart
my ex thinks that I oughta burn in hell.
But The devil wont even notice when I die
ya don’t you figure
hes got bigger fish to fry
Theres gonna be a bonfire burnin,
an everlastin bar b que
but with all the bad stuff goin on
there ain’t gonna be room for me and you
cuz we cuss and we smoke
and we laugh at tater’s jokes
(tell one Jim, you know youre old when your wife says ‘honey lets run upstairs and make love’ and your answer is I cannot do both)
some minor vices, man we know em well
we’ve closed down bars and we’ve lusted in our hearts
our exes think we oughta burn in hell
but the devil, he wont notice when we die,
don’t you figure he’s got bigger fish to fry
ya don’t you figgure
he’s got bigger fish to fry
(pass the tarter sauce)